Kevin Durant Leaving is Great Because of You

Thank you.
You are the reason that Kevin Durant joining the Golden State Warriors is a great thing. Not a good thing but a great thing! Stephen A. Smith got on ESPN and he was mad, loud and filled with angst and you loved every second of it. Like an old church lady egging on her Pastor with chants of “preach pastor preach!!”, your chest filled with pride as Stephen A. delivered his manifesto.

Preach Stephen A. Preach!!!!! Yes Lawd!

Stephen A. went full Stephen A. on Durant leaving.

The news dropped and the first thing that came to your mind was why would he want to join a team that put him out of the playoffs. What a sucker! As you scrolled all the hot takes on Facebook you went on a liking frenzy of all the KD memes and all of your friends who shared your sentiments. You just don’t understand this new breed of NBA player so you quickly flashback to a time when basketball was pure.You take to Facebook or Twitter because you have to let the world know how much better the game was when you were younger. Your carefully thought out take most likely includes the following phrases:
“MJ wouldn’t have ….” (MJ could also be substituted for Larry or Magic)


“Proverbial KD is weak or soft comment.”

“Hot take on NBA legacies.”

“Hot take on how much money these kids make.”

To you the game was purer back then because it was a time when men were men. They hated each other and by all means they never wanted to play together. They were allowed to play defense and they didn’t cry. Thoughts of the good ole days warm your heart and makes you feel all fuzzy inside.

What are these kids doing to your game? These damn millennials.

If a superstar is unhappy by no means should he ever join another (or better) team because thats just not the way we do things. Right?

Free agency should have an asterisk because players should be able to choose any team they want except: teams with a existing superstar, title contenders, teams with nice beaches and pretty girls, and teams that can pay a boat load of money.

Did I cover it all?

Almost forgot about “clause A” in unwritten free agency. Players can only chase a ring if they are not a superstar or if they are past their prime. This can affectionately be known as the Gary Payton and Karl Malone clause. By no means ever should a player take control from the owners and find a way to play with his friends. Oh God no!!!!

So with that being said I don’t see how KD didn’t understand the rules to how this works. If he wasn’t completely happy in OKC he should have stayed .. Because that’s how it’s supposed to go. If he gets a ring it won’t count as much because he’s cheating.

Never-mind the fact that this team still has to play a season, folks are already putting the championship trophy in Oakland. Just take a breath and relax bro. People your age shouldn’t get so riled up.
But I have to thank you.

You are the reason KD to the Warriors is a brilliant move. Yes, you with your “back-in-my-day” hot takes. Your disdain for the move and utter disgust for this new NBA is why this is so great. Because of people like you the NBA has been trending for days. The NBA hasn’t been this popular since Lebrons “The decision”. I apologize for bringing that up I know that still hurts as well.

Because of people like you the Warriors have gone from the fun loving team that yokes up a insane amount of threes to public enemy #1. By this one move the Warriors might be the most exciting team to ever play since the showtime Lakers while simultaneously being its most hated.

You really can’t script this.

After years of getting pass after pass because the hate for Lebron always took precedent KD is now the NBA’s most wanted. From now on every KD achievement will be met with “well MJ never …” and other statements of the glorious infallible basketball of the 80’s and 90’s.

Thank You

Because regardless of how you feel about the move one thing is for certain. You will watch. When the Warriors play you will tune in even it is the late game on TNT because it is important for you to see their demise. The Warriors not winning a championship will validate you and your beloved era of basketball, a time when men were men. A time where men dealt with being on their teams and didn’t want to go to better teams because that’s what men do.

Again from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I’m already circling my calendar on when the Warriors come to town because I will be in the building. I know you’ll be watching too.




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